Monday, December 9, 2013

It's My Turn

Any parents out there?

A little while back I posted something on Facebook about my having to intervene in a dispute
between my 9 year old son and soon to be 7 year old daughter.  The dispute was over a plain
No. 2 pencil.  Nothing fancy about it, no decorations, no carvings.  And there were other
No. 2 pencils scattered on the floor within easy reach to serve as replacement.
Maybe there was some principle involved that I couldn't understand.

We do the best we can to teach our children, and provide them guidance.  Help them learn to
reason and eventually develop good decision making skills and hopefully acquire wisdom.
But at some point, their turn is going to come.  Oh, I'm not talking about them having children
of their own someday, which may or may not happen.  I'm talking about the time when they will no
longer be interested in our guidance and will want to make their own decisions.

I refer to it as taking their turn.  We all take our turn.  But often as parents we're unwilling
to recognize or acknowledge when it's our children's turn.  Now, I'm not talking about giving up
the reigns prematurely.  If you're living in my house and you're under 18 - you have not yet
earned your turn.

But ultimately whether we think they have earned it or not, our children will TAKE their turn.
Just like we took ours.

I'm also not saying that we don't let them know that there's a bus coming down the street at a
speed of 60 miles an hour, and will probably smash them to bits if they don't get out of the way.
You always have to deliver that kind of information, whether they like it or not.  But what we
as parents have to wrap our minds around is the idea that they will TAKE their turn and we won't
always like how they use their turn.

We may not agree with their choice for dating.  We may not agree with their choice of study.
We may not agree with their choice in politics or philosophy, or eating habits.

But we can either accept that they are entitled to their turn or risk being alienated from them.
I don't know about you, but I'm preparing my neural pathways to be ready for when they take their turn.
Take a turn and check me out at


  1. I'm amening so much I truly don't know what else to say!!!!! Very well written, I couldn't have said it better myself as a fellow parent. :)

  2. Ummm - not sure why my above comment above has the name "Big T" on it, but it's SONYA!!!!! LOL!!!!

  3. Well put, as parents we definetely need to prepare ourselves for the time will they will make their own decisions, allowing your mind to be prepared now for me will help relieve so much anxiety later.

  4. Still taking my turn :-) Only now I'm the parent...haHa

    The most fun I've ever had is getting to know to my daughter..but I'm humbled on a daily basis...if anyone figures out this parenting business, send tips my way...
    I guess we are all just finding our own way as the kids take their turns, and we take (took?) ours!
    Enjoy your kids and hang on!!!

    1. I love it! "Still taking my turn" - I'm with you on that!